right before my eyes
potentially, everything
on the outside
ripped at the seams
weak and needy
…it hurts.
pictures inside my head
only to torture me
things that I want
let me go
…enough.
the moment i’m in
This is the moment i’m in:
Inside i feel cold.
I’m alone.
It’s complicated.
The light from the lamp
floods the room
with an amber glow.
The night is calm,
and the world at peace
…unlike my restless spirit,
but it’s quiet all the same.
the fight
fighting back tears
i’ll take deep breaths
before they start falling
down my face
fighting myself
i’ll force my fingers
to keep them from reaching
out for someone
who isn’t there
tell me it’s over
the battle is won
until tomorrow…
when a new one’s begun
i knew this would happen
stuck in one of those times
i would dread,
and knew would come
when everything was happy
– too happy
– so happy,
that there was nothing left
but for it all
to come crashing down
on me
it’s not fine
drop me like a bad habit
i’ll turn around,
go my own way
and act like i don’t even care
the 5 w’s
i’ll meet you in
the space between
who we were and
what we’ve been,
when we weren’t and
where we’ll be,
and why you are
like air to me
teetering
i find myself on the edge
of something terrifyingly beautiful
knowing we could lose
if we stay or if we fall
a cinema of moments:
your arm around my shoulders,
the song in the car,
meeting you for the first time,
like i had known you my whole life,
our first night in our own place,
when you said you needed space,
the lonely nights in between,
the highs and the hurts,
replay and rewind
replay,
rewind,
replay,
rewind,
freeze frame.
i’m listening
lovers love
and the liars will lie;
tell me i’m wrong,
and tell me you’re mine
it doesn’t matter
things change
i wonder how it would feel
if they stayed the same
it doesn’t matter anyway
you’ll fade to gray
i’ll go my way
just enough space
for me on my own
only light can stay
Wander•lost Thoughts 